Three Qualities of a Healthy Community Group

No two Community Groups look alike… yet, there are some common characteristics of groups that are healthy. When I meet with prospective Community Group Leaders, there are three things that I emphasize that they must develop in their group. As the Community Groups Pastor, it’s my desire that every Rock Community Group would be growing and engaged in all three of these characteristics:

1.     Relational Engagement (aka – Authentic Community)

As I wrote in another post (CLICK HERE), God created us for relationships with others, and without them, we are isolated and vulnerable to discouragement and defeat. Community Groups are a safe place to be honest and transparent about the victories and struggles in life. As you spend time with those in your group, you’ll find those relationships growing into true friendships. The best place to grow closer to Jesus is in a community of friends!

2.     Spiritual Formation (aka – Discipleship)

When Jesus met with his disciples for the last time before he ascended to heaven, he gave them their marching orders:

Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. (Matt 28:19-20a)

This passage is at the core of what the church is called to do – make disciples. A disciple is a learner, one who is in the process of becoming like their master. And that’s our goal, becoming like our master, Jesus! Every Community Group includes time spent in the Word, prayer, and encouragement for spiritual growth. But ultimately, we each need to take responsibility for our own growth, and then when we meet together in our Community Group, we “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Heb 10:24).

3.     Missional Impact (aka – Community Outreach) 
The Rock Church is a Do Something Church – we believe that God calls us to be engaged in the neighborhoods around us in order to bring Pervasive Hope to every street and every person.  Our Community Groups likewise engage in outreach projects to the neighborhoods around them. Some groups participate in the quarterly Rock Your City events. Other groups, like Corbett & Susan Stone’s group, go to a local food pantry once a month to hand out sacks of groceries to hungry families. There are hundreds of opportunities in our city and county to meet needs and serve others in the name of Jesus.

So how is your Community Group doing? Are there some adjustments you need to make so it will be engaged in all three of the above essentials?

Let me know what you intend to this month to make a difference!

Be strong & courageous!
Dave Stewart

Three Reasons to Join a Community Group!

When you hear an invitation to get into a Community Group, maybe you feel like you’re too busy and can’t add “1 more thing” to your life.  So why does it matter anyway? What’s the big deal about being in a Community Group?

I’m glad you asked! Here’s a few reasons that I think a Community Group should be a high priority for every follower of Jesus:

1. God created you for authentic community relationships

Five times in Genesis 1 it says that after God created, He “saw that it was good.” At the end of the chapter it says, “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good.” Then in the very next chapter, the story line changes to something not good!

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone…”  Gen 2:18a

Isolation isn’t part of God’s plan for your life. His solution to the problem of isolation was family; God created Eve to be Adam’s wife and fill the void of being alone. God made every human being with an internal need for authentic relationships, and when we don’t have them, we experience loneliness.

In the New Testament, both Peter and Paul refer to the church as the “family of believers.” God provided you with a spiritual family, and in that family you will find the relational connections that defeat the discouragement of isolation.

2. We grow and change best in accountable community

If I were to ask you if there are areas that you need to grow in, chances are, you’d say “yes” and know right away what needs to change. If you’re serious about growing to be more like Jesus, then you’d better seriously considering doing it in a community of friends!

In a couple of studies on heart patients, it was discovered that:

• Only 1 out of 10 people were able to change to a healthy lifestyle when they were on their own
• 8 out of 10 people made significant and lasting changes to their diet, exercise, and habits when they were in an accountable community group that met weekly for one year

 

So what do heart patient studies have to do with the Christian life? Those studies exposed a principle of human nature that I’ve seen to be true in being able to stay the course in following Jesus. That’s what the writer of Hebrews was talking about when he wrote these words:

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:12-13)

We might think that some sins are “no big deal” or that “it doesn’t hurt anyone.” But as this verse describes, when we dabble in sin, it causes us to grow cold toward God and we turn away from him as a result. When we’re in accountable community with others who are also on a spiritual journey toward Jesus, they encourage us and help keep us from being ensnared by the deceptiveness of sin.

On the other side of the table, your Christian brothers and sisters need you to be there to encourage them to keep walking with Jesus and not be deceived by sin! You need your brothers and sisters, and they need you.

3. You’ll have a blast with your new friends!

Every Community Group needs to include a good dose of food and fun! And if you start going to a Community Group and they’re not having any fun, maybe God sent you to the group to liven it up!

So… what do you think? Is your spiritual life worth the time and effort needed to be in a community of friends? Invite a friend to join you and go find a group this week!

http://www.sdrock.com/communitygroups & click on “Find a Group”

“Bringing Pervasive Hope to San Diego as we grow closer to Jesus
in a community of friends”

The Gift of Repentance

When I was a student at Humboldt State University, Brother Jed and Sister Cindy would come to campus every year and "preach." They yelled, called people whores and perverts, and told them they were going to hell. And they would tell people to repent. Presented in such a hostile context, repentance can seem to be filled with shame and condemnation.

Now it's true that we need to repent because of our sin, but the way I read the Scriptures, repentance is a marvelous gift that God gives to us! Here's how David the Psalmist describes the result of repentance:

Oh, what joy for those whose rebellion is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!
Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! (Psalm 32:1-2, NLT)

So what does it mean to repent? I like to explain it with the analogy of making a u-turn. When you make a u-turn, you deliberately stop heading one direction, turn around and head in the opposite direction. When we are living self-directed lives, we are heading away from God. Our lives may be characterized by outright rebellion, indulging in all kinds of sinful behaviors, or we might just be indifferent towards God's ways and choose to be the master of our destinies. When the conviction of God breaks through to us and we realize that apart from his grace we are miserable, broken and hopeless, we choose to turn away from our self-directed life, and turn to him for mercy and forgiveness.

Repenting is simply agreeing with God about our sin, turning away from it and turning to God; it's doing an internal u-turn.

In Psalm 32, David goes on to describe how he felt when he was on the self-directed path away from God:

When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long... my strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. (v3, 4b)

In verse 5, he describes how he repented:

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord." And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

When you confess to God, you acknowledge that your behavior or attitudes are wrong. 1 John 1:9 says that when we confess our sins, that God will "forgive us and cleanse us from every wrong."
No wonder David describes it as joy! Who wouldn't want to have all their guilt wiped out? That's exactly what happens when we humble ourselves before God, admit that we blew it, and ask him to forgive.

Repentance is a gift from God that sets our hearts free, taking away shame and guilt. David goes on to admonish the reader:

Therefore, let all the godly confess their rebellion to you while there is time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment. 

And then offers a promise from God for those who live lifestyles of repentance:

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." 

Keep short accounts with God! The moment you realize that you've headed down the path of rebellion or being self-directed, confess and repent! As we develop lifestyles of repentance, we'll discover that God is directing and blessing us in ways that we never thought possible.

One final thought: the experience of authentic community with other Christ-followers is characterized by confessing our faults to each other! Now that's counter-cultural! I want to see our community groups become places of safety and encouragement, where we can practice what the Apostle James wrote in his letter:

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:16, NLT)

With love from a fellow repenter,
Dave Stewart

Death by Meeting - Book review

Just finished a must-read book by Patrick Lencioni, "Death by Meeting." It's a "business fiction" book where he uses a story to teach principles on how to have productive and engaging meetings. In his consulting work, he has found that most meetings are boring and unproductive - of course I've never experienced that!

Lencioni contends that meetings need 2 things: Drama and Structure. Drama is created as team members are willing to engage in honest conversations, pushing back (respectfully) on statements, direction, etc. It's the healthy conflict in a meeting that helps to drill down to core convictions, beliefs, and leads to solid decisions. After wrestling through the issues, the team makes a decision - and may not be in consensus, but all support the decision once it's made because every team member participated and had the opportunity to give their honest input.

Structure refers to what is covered in your meetings. Most meetings are a hodgepodge of information items, reports, discussions, decisions, planning, etc. Lencioni proposes a Four Meeting method:

1. Daily Check-in: 5 minute stand up meeting each day with your team, where each team member shares what they're working on that day. This helps to keep the team connected and knowing what's going on in the department.
2. Weekly Tactical: 45-90 minute meeting to review weekly activity and metrics, and to resolve tactical obstacles and issues (you'll have to get the book to see how to structure this meeting!).
3. Monthly Strategic: Rather than address directional issues in the weekly meeting, set aside an extended time every month (or schedule ad hoc if there are pressing issues) to focus only on strategy. Limit the meeting to one or two issues and allow 90 min - 2 hrs per issue. Every team member should take time to prepare for this meeting by doing their homework / research.
4. Quarterly Off-site Review: this is where you review strategy, industry trends, personnel, and do team development.

Sound like a lot of meetings? Yes, but in the long run, you'll accomplish far more, have clearer direction, and find that your meetings are more engaging and productive.

To get the full picture, I'd recommend reading the book yourself. I picked up a used copy on Amazon, and with shipping it was under $8. It's an easy read that draws you into the story line while helping you understand key principles of good meetings. The last section of the book summarizes the principles in a "traditional" fashion, so you can refer back to them and implement them with your team.

Happy reading... and happy meetings!

How do you see these principles lived out in a non-profit or church setting?

Satisfied with your progress?

Have you ever met someone who had been a Christian for a long time, but nobody liked being around him or her because they were so cranky? I have. Maybe they faithfully attend church and hear sermons, study the Bible and pray a lot, yet they’re still spiritually immature. They still use their words in a hurtful way, and still think it’s all about them. And if you’ve never met a person like that… look in the mirror because that person just might be you!

Growing as a Christian is a lot like the stages people go through in growing from infancy to adulthood. Every phase has its own set of characteristics, discoveries, joys, and frustrations. If you had a child that never matured physically, emotionally, and mentally past 3 years old, you would be greatly concerned and go see the doctor.  Yet it’s not an unusual thing for a person to be a Christian for a lot of years and still be a spiritual baby.  I don’t think God meant it to be that way!

You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right.  (Hebrews 5:12-13, NLT)

I think that part of the problem is selfish consumerism. Western society has trained us to be savvy consumers – how does the “product” make me feel? Apply consumer thinking to Christianity, and you have a steady flow of people who grow dissatisfied with a church or ministry and move on to the next “product” that makes them feel good. But if we move on every six months or two years, we don’t grow beyond our selfishness. It’s like we remain in spiritual puberty perpetually, trying to figure out who we are, trying to fit in but always feeling like an awkward junior high boy who just had a growth spurt and is breaking out in zits all over his face.

It’s not just a 21^st century dilemma though, 2000 years ago, many of Jesus’ followers turned away from him (John 6:66). When he asked the twelve if they wanted to leave as well, Peter replied,

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (v68-69)

Even though the disciples had all sorts of issues and immaturities, eleven of them recognized who Jesus really was and kept following. After spending three years with Jesus, they were ready to carry his Kingdom mission to the world. They weren’t perfect, but had grown closer to him and were available to be used by him.

Here’s a few thoughts on growing beyond selfish consumerism:

1. Choose to keep following Jesus, even when it’s tough; develop spiritual habits that include reading the Word and praying daily. Ask God to shape your character and help you grow.  
2. Follow Jesus in a community of friends (i.e. join a community group where you can be encouraged to keep following and grow beyond selfishness).
3. Get involved in bringing pervasive hope to your neighborhood through a monthly outreach project with your community group.

What have you found to be essential in keeping you on a path of growth and following Jesus?

My best day fishing

When the guy at the bait shop told us that we’d catch so many fish that our arms would get tired, we laughed. Yeah, right! Then he said that we’d let our line go slack, hoping the fish would unhook themselves. Little did we know the fun that awaited us that day!

My dad and I were on our way to fish at the mouth of Sebastian Inlet, just south of Cape Canaveral, Florida. We heard that when the tide changes and the baitfish were swept out with the current, the bluefish gather for a feeding frenzy. Bluefish aren’t necessarily the best tasting fish, but they’re sure fun to catch!

Just like the guy at the bait shop said, we caught so many fish that day that our arms got tired and we let our line go slack, hoping they’d unhook. Almost every cast produced a 1 or 2 pound bluefish. There were even times when we’d pull in the line and there would be two fish on the same lure! We filled up two 5-gallon buckets, and then started throwing the fish back. When we got back home, we realized that we had way too many fish and started giving them away to all our neighbors.

Some of Jesus’ disciples loved fishing too… at least we know that’s what they did for a living before meeting Jesus. 

Passing alongside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew the brother of Simon casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” (Mark 1:16-17)

In this short but powerful call to discipleship, I see four things that Jesus calls every one of us to engage in:

·      Community:  “Jesus said to them…” Jesus invited each disciple to be part of a group that would learn together, travel together, serve together, and grow together. In a similar way, you and I are invited to be part of the body of Christ, which means that we are in family relationship. Every Christian needs a group of friends that they can journey with through life, and a small group is a great place to find that kind of community. Discipleship takes place in the context of relationships.

Q. Are you growing closer to Jesus in a community of friends?

·      Surrender: “Follow me…” In order to follow Jesus, I have to let go of something. For the disciples, it was the fishing profession. Verse 18 says that “immediately they left their nets.” If I follow Jesus, it means that I’m no longer in charge. I’m not blazing my own trail any more, I choose to take a new path, Jesus’ path.

Q. Who’s in the driver’s seat of your life?

·      Transformation: “I will make you become…” Notice the order; follow first, and then change comes. Jesus didn’t tell the disciples to get their act together, go to Bible school, kick all their bad habits and then they could be his disciples. He chose them to follow right then, just like they were, and then he was going to make them into something different. If you’re a Christian, but your life isn’t changing, you’d better check to see who you are following! When you follow Jesus, he will change your life!

Q. Where have you seen God change your life lately?

·      A kingdom-building lifestyle: “…fishers of men.”  Jesus doesn’t save us to become nice people. You and I were saved to fulfill God’s mission. Jesus came to earth to “seek and to save the lost.”  Being a disciple of Jesus means that you are involved in his “seek and save” mission. And by the way, there’s no difference between being a Christian and being a disciple!

Q. What kingdom-building opportunity do you need to get involved in?

While fishing for bluefish is fun and exciting, it pales in comparison to fishing for people! When we help someone know Jesus, we’re making a difference in his or her life for eternity!

Q. Have you answered Jesus invitation to “follow me?”