As a pastor, a primary responsibility that I have is to develop those whom I lead (Eph 4:11-16). There's a number of ways that I have done this: training classes, personal discipleship, serving together, delegating, accountability groups, small groups, reading & discussing books, recommending books/articles/etc., preaching, emails, taking them to conferences, and even funding education/training opportunities. In fact, I'm bringing in a 2-Day coaching workshop next week as an equipping opportunities for the leaders at Grace.
If you're in ministry, and also develop those you lead, let me ask a more personal question: are you investing in the development of your spouse? Maybe you'd answer, "But that's not my responsibility!" Here's my take on the matter: if you're married, and you're a man, God has called you to be the spiritual leader of your home (whether you're in ministry or not!), which means that not only are you called to set an example through your own pursuit of growth and intimacy with Christ, but you are also called to shepherd your family toward growth and intimacy with Christ.
If you're a woman serving in ministry, and are married, God hasn't called you to be the spiritual leader in your home, he's called your husband to that role. If he's not taking on that role, it's a tough thing, and you still need to set an example of godliness for him (1 Pet 3:1-2), and to lead your children spiritually.
I bring this up because I've seen a number of pastors who are gifted and fruitful in ministry, but their wives aren't on board with their calling in life and may even resent it. Could part of the reason be that while you pursued your training and launched into ministry, your spouse got left behind? And as you read articles, books, go to conferences, and pursue more education, your spouse isn't being encouraged to grow and develop in her ministry?
I know that there are many ministry spouses who are being equipped and growing, so I'm not making a blanket statement about every one. And I also know that in many ministry situations, your spouse doesn't have the same gifting and call to leadership that you do, and they can be wounded by well-meaning congregants who put unrealistic expectations on them.
Early in my ministry, I had the blessing of serving together with my wife on Campus Crusade staff. She went to the training conferences that I went to, participated in the weekly staff meeting, led small groups, discipled, and evangelized. And I admit that there were times where in my insecurity, I felt intimidated by her. Brenda has taken initiative to grow in her spiritual life and her ministry skills. She pursued her masters degree in the evenings while the kids were younger, and now that they're teens & older, she's stepped up her education. That required me to get on board with the idea, to agree to her absence for classes, and to spend some of our family income on providing her education.
I've received blessings multiple times over as a result! Brenda is truly a partner in ministry, and in ways is ahead of me in her ministry skills. For the past five years, we've been able to serve together on the staff of our church, and I love working on a ministry team with her!
Here's the bottom line: take time to discuss with your spouse about their heart for ministry, their development path and desires, and then do whatever it takes to get her (or him) there. We invest in our key leaders, who are important to the health and future of our ministry. Think about it, and you'll agree that there is no person in your life more important than your spouse (and if you can't agree, call me & we'll arrange for some marriage counseling =) )!
No comments:
Post a Comment